To some extent, optimization is to our industry what sexual intercourse is to teenagers. There's a veil of awesomeness surrounding it; everybody thinks it's cool, has an opinion about it, and talks about it a great deal; yet in spite of ample folklore, few get to do it meaningfully or at all. Improving the ordeals of teenage years being too daunting a project, the next best thing to do is teaching how to write fast code. So Andrei setout to write a book about it. This talk is a sneak preview into some of the book's material.