We all want to work for a company that cares about and promotes a balanced, fun, and, in a word, "awesome" culture, but unless a company has safeguards in place against bad clients, bad projects, and bad apples, this great company culture only exists on paper. What can we do as developers, team leaders, or mentors to protect ourselves and others from cultural failure? What are successful companies doing to maintain their workers' happiness? By examining what a developer needs for professional happiness, this talk will propose a functional, actionable company culture model while exploring the sometimes difficult task of owning your company culture and protecting it when things go wrong.