The Diabolical Developer has spent the last few years utilising best practices in various languages, following lean/agile techniques, practising software craftsmanship and listening to the likes of Martin Fowler, Derick Rethans and Rasmus Lerdorf. He's discovered that it's all just one giant hoax and he wants to expose the lies that you've been told your entire careers! This talk is going to change your life - you'll learn practical steps on how to free yourself from the oppressive chains of the industry (and your so called betters) and actually get back to loving development again.